What is Troubling Talk?

This blog was created to share stories of "troubling" violence. It is a safe place to share stories and discuss issues of violence against women. I will not post stories from abusers because that would disrupt this safe space. Sadly, all of us have stories but some of us are scared to talk or just don't know how to share our stories. This blog allows you to post anonymously and simply writing out your story can be a step towards empowerment. My idea to start this blog came after writing and publishing my thesis entitled Disrupting Fraternity Culture: Folklore and the Construction of Violence Against Women. Upon entering college, I became heavily emerged in Greek life though I never joined a sorority myself. My boyfriend (and now husband) belonged to a fraternity and I began to notice disturbing and misogynistic patterns. These behaviors were enacted by people I consider and still consider to be close friends. I began to examine and analyze why these behaviors emerged in this setting and upon reflection realized that these anti-female attitudes are not just in the walls of fraternities and sororities. Fraternities and sororities are environments that can breed anti-female attitudes but violence against women exists on different levels in different environments everyday. From the home to the workplace to other environments, women encounter troubling acts of violence. I should state that I do not believe ALL fraternities and sororities promote troubling behavior and I realize that many fraternal organizations accomplish wonderful humanitarian deeds. Please feel free to blog about the positive behaviors and actions that come out of these fraternal organizations. I do, however, believe that we should examine fraternities and sororities as organizations that can contribute to the violence because of the troubling stories evidenced by many men and women. When I was in college I was also part of a group called the Troubling Violence Performance Project formed by Dr. Elaine Lawless and Dr. Carver. We would travel to different venues and share real narratives from women who have experienced troubling violence. As an audience member, you might hear stories of marital abuse, stalking, verbal abuse, etc. We did not share statistics nor present graphs or numbers because stories are the most powerful way to spread a message. The more stories that we share, I believe the more empowered we can become and we can work on preventing this violence. I prefer to use the term "troubling violence" rather than domestic or partner violence because the word "troubling" encompasses women of all ages and includes all types of violence. Dr. Carver and Dr. Lawless began using the adjective "troubling" and commented to me that I was using "troubling violence" as a noun! Grammatical use aside, "troubling" does certainly describe many of the anti-female actions and behaviors. Please use this blog to share your story, the story of a loved one or friend, and to post stories you hear about in the media. We can start the discussion here and work to prevent the violence.